“Should the shark attack, your best line of defense is to claw at the animal’s gills and eyes.” Tweet This Quote
From 1991 to 2001, an average of 177 fatalities occurred per year in the U.S. from venomous and non-venomous animals. Although some of these tragedies were unavoidable, many of them could have been prevented had the victims known how to protect themselves in the wild. Get a leg up on crusty old Mother Nature by learning how to survive animal attacks with the simple tips below. When you’ve mastered these, please visit our articles on how to defend yourself against a dog and how to fight a bear.
Shark attack
If lions are the king of the jungle, then sharks are surely the sultans of the sea. These bloodthirsty underwater predators are equipped with razor-sharp teeth, remarkably powerful tails and an unquenchable appetite for flesh. Luckily, it’s easy to hear these freaky fish approaching, since they’re one of the few animals that have their very own theme song. Should you encounter a shark while swimming or scuba diving, get into a defensive position by backing yourself up against a reef, rock or any solid obstruction that will reduce the animal’s angles of attack. If you are with a partner, go back to back to provide yourselves with 360 degrees of protection. Should the shark attack, your best line of defense is to claw at the animal’s gills and eyes. Delivering a quick succession of sharp strikes will confuse the shark, making it believe there are multiple attackers. Once the shark has swum away you’ll be free to return to shore where you can sell your story to the highest bidder.
Cougar attack
One of the most unpredictable animals in the wild (and in many yuppie bars), cougars are sleek, muscular killing machines capable of running at speeds of 35 miles per hour and jumping as high as 18 feet from a sitting position. Should you see a cougar in the wild, try to stay perfectly still since even the most minute of movements may cause these powerful predators to attack. If a cougar does indeed pounce upon you, your best — and perhaps only — hope is to fight back. Many outdoorsmen have managed to fend off cougars by retaliating with rocks, sticks, fishing poles, and even their bare fists. Another method, albeit a far more dangerous one, is to try to control the animal by placing your hand behind its lower canine teeth on the lower half of its jaw. Simply pull down as hard as you can and try to choke the animal until help arrives. If you exert enough force it’s possible the cougar will retreat back into the wild to lick its wounds.
Wild dog attack
Years of watching Disney films and Saturday morning cartoons may have convinced you that your typical wild dog is an amiable, wise-cracking animal. Sadly, this common misconception couldn’t be further from the truth. Wild mutts, such as wolves, coyotes and foxes, are dangerous and sometimes even rabid animals that don’t take lightly to humans encroaching on their territory. Should you stumble upon a wild dog, maintain eye contact with the animal while backing away slowly. Remain upright, and make yourself appear bigger and more imposing by picking up sticks or branches and waving them about. If a wild dog lunges at you, remain standing while kicking the animal repeatedly in the face around the eyes and snout. If you have a stick, deliver full, powerful blows to the animal’s face and ribs until it finally relents. It may be a dog-eat-dog world, but there’s no need for you to become puppy chow if you’re willing to put up a fight.
Sadly, crocodiles are much more efficient in the water, where their sheer power and their ability to hold their breath for prolonged periods of time make them a lethal foe.” Tweet This Quote
Snake attack
Ever since Adam and Eve first entered the Garden of Eden, snakes have been doing their best to toy with humanity. Should one of these cold-blooded reptiles sink its venomous fangs into you, stay calm and head to your nearest emergency room or park ranger’s office. If you are unable to reach either of these locations immediately, let your wound bleed out and then wash it with water and an antibacterial soap to prevent the risk of additional infection. As with most emergencies, sometimes what you don’t do is just as important as what you do: Don’t elevate the wound above your heart as it may accelerate the spread of the venom; don’t apply a tourniquet as it may result in necrosis; don’t administer any antivenom medications without the supervision of a trained expert. The good news is that 12 Americans die each year from snakebites, so you’re still far more likely to injure yourself while shaving than you are to die from being bitten by an ill-tempered reptile.
Crocodile attack
Anyone who tuned in regularly to watch The Crocodile Hunter during the late 1990s knows full well that these rascally reptiles can be a handful for even a trained professional. Should you see a crocodile on land, your best bet is to turn your tail and run away in a straight line — rather than a zig-zag pattern — since these prehistoric animals top out at a maximum speed of 10 miles per hour and typically grow tired when running on hard-packed terra firma. Sadly, crocodiles are much more efficient in the water, where their sheer power and their ability to hold their breath for prolonged periods of time make them a lethal foe. If you’re attacked in the water, try to poke the crocodile’s eyes with whatever you have at your disposal; sticks and oars both work well, but your thumb will also work in a pinch. If you are unable to attack their eyes, go for their nostrils or ears instead. Although not nearly as sensitive, many crocodiles have been known to release their victims after receiving a sharp blow or a deep cut to either of these exposed areas. Should these tactics fail, put all of your energy into hitting the animal’s snout with a blunt object like a pole or a bat.
It’s a jungle out there
The surest way of surviving an animal attack is to avoid one in the first place. When enjoying the great outdoors, always be aware of your surroundings and take special precautions to avoid surprising animals in their natural habitat. Most animals are not ill-tempered beasts, but they may have no choice but to attack if they feel threatened by your presence. Remember, you are a guest in their environment, so treat them with the respect that they deserve.
Gangs Goons and Gunz 